


Worth it

by Kittenthesecretninja



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 17:53:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8810323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittenthesecretninja/pseuds/Kittenthesecretninja
Summary: Josh jumps the gun and must decide what's important.





	

Josh struggled awake at the sound of his cell phone. Two years in the White House had turned answering his cell half-awake into instinct.

“Lyman” he barked. 

“Josh..What the hell?” 

“CJ you called me” 

“No, I called Donna! Do you want to explain why you answering your assistant’s phone at 7am on a Saturday, or should I guess??”

Shit, Josh glanced at the phone in his hand and at the afore mentioned assistants naked back next to him. “CJ… We must have swapped phones, it’s not a big deal” CJ signed and debated whether or not to believe the obvious lie. 

“Joshua, shut it down, this can’t happen. It’s bad for the administration and your career” 

“Hypothetically, what if I don’t care about my career?” josh murmured. “We could spin this”. 

CJ hesitated and responded “then care about Donna, they’ll attack her Josh, turn her into a blonde whore, insult her morals, her intelligence and every piece of her” 

He scrubbed his hand across his face, heart sinking “yeah, okay, CJ I gotta go”. Hanging up the phone he glanced over at Donna. Still blissfully asleep with a small contented smile on her face. How was he going to do this? He had all but told her he loved her last night, made love to her repeatedly and now he had to tell her thanks, but no thanks? Easing out of the bed and grabbing his clothes he made his way to the shower. Donna woke up and stretched, confused by her surroundings for a minute, until the events of last night came back to her. She could barely contain her joy. He loved her! All this time thinking her feelings we’re one sided and last night she found out he felt it to! Where did he run off to? It was Saturday, she wondered if she could persuade him to skip the office and spend the day in bed. She grinned again, giddy. 

Josh walked into the bedroom, fully clothed and with new conviction. He was going to do this. It was what was best for her and that had always been his goal, his purpose. He started when he saw she was awake, awake and smiling, awake and smiling with her breasts bare and visible. 

 

“Hey you” Donna said smiling shyly. “why are you dressed?” 

“Donna” Josh steeled himself. “get dressed, we have to talk” he handed her clothes and eased out of the room.

Donna heart plummeted, why was he pushing her away? He seemed angry. She quickly threw on her wrinkled ball gown balling up her soiled panties and scrapped her long blonde hair back. Leaving the bedroom she found josh in the kitchen making coffee. 

 

“Joshua? Talk to me” Josh’s back stiffened at the sound of her confused voice. Closing his eyes briefly he summoned all of his strength.

“Last night was a mistake, I’m sorry” 

“What…? A mistake?” Donna blinked rapidly hoping to stem the flow of tears.

“I was drunk and we need to forget it ever happened” looking at her sweet face, pale with her shock and hurt , Josh had never been more disgusted with himself. He had loved her for years. Prized her above all else, including the job he had worked his whole life for. Now he was destroying her.

“Josh..no. I know your scared, but don’t push me away. Last night meant something to both of us. You can’t fake that kind of connection”

“Yeah it meant, that I got laid” he said harshly. “Look, let’s not get all hearts and flowers about this, I was drunk and horny and you were offering. We both got what we needed.”

“Josh!” Donna gasped. She couldn’t, wouldn’t believe this. Last night he had whispered sweet words while he eased her out of her clothes. He spoke of forever and her beauty. 

“Donna, let’s be adults. It was sex, good sex, but nothing to write home about” Josh brushed past her shaking form to the front door. “Look, don’t bother coming into the office today or tomorrow. Let’s take the weekend to get back level and resume our professional relationship on Monday.” Josh opened the door still avoiding her tear filled blue eyes.

Donna walked numbly to the door. She was absolutely devastated, she had nothing. If she opened her mouth she knew she would incoherently sob. Slipping past Josh without looking at him she started down the steps. She nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of the door slamming. 

Josh crumbled against the shut front door. He was scum, lower then scum. What was wrong with him? Why didn’t he think before he acted? He had already waited two years. She was just so gorgeous last night. 

 

Josh kept seeing her shocked devastated face. She thought he had lied, told her how beautiful she was, how much she meant to him, just so she would have sex with him. His breath caught in his throat at the realization that they would never recover from this. There would be no post administration realization, no happy ending. He would forever be the heartless bastard who lied to her to get her in bed. Donna had spent the bulk of the weekend crying and breaking things. She ping ponged between devastating grief and all-consuming rage. Early Sunday, drunk on the latter she attempted to call Josh and give him a piece of her mind. He ignored all seven calls.

 

Josh had spent the bulk of the weekend drunk and numb. He completely ignored calls from CJ, Leo and Donna. He had his last conversation with Donna running on a loop in his head. It was Monday morning, he was expected to function under the weight of an insane hangover and self-disgust. He lay in bed waiting for Donna’s wakeup call. He needed to face the music. He ignored two (potentially important) phone calls from Leo, dodged the judgment from CJ and was too much of a chicken shit to give Donna her due. The ringing of the phone put his self-abuse on hold. “lo?” 

“Josh, you have senior staff in 40 minutes” said the voice.

“Who is this?”

“It’s Ginger” Josh’s stomach dropped.

“Ginger, where’s Donna?” He held his breath, terrified that she quit. He didn’t think he could survive it.

“She had a dr’s appointment and asked me to wake you. I have to go, Toby needs me”

Josh took a deep breath and strolled into the bullpen. Cold and professional was his mantra. He tried not to look directly at her. "Morning Donna, any calls?"

"On your desk." Josh has to strain to hear here. Risking a glance he noticed Her alabaster skin was translucent, she had bags under her eyes and she wouldn't look at him. 

"Donnatella..." he said softly. She looked up and under the pain in her big blue eyes he saw hope. The hope was what killed him. How could she still believe in him? Taking a breath he finished. “my office please" Donna followed josh slowly, shut the door and found a spot on the wall to stare at.

"Donna, we have to be adults about this. It was a one time lapse in judgment. Let's put it aside...we work at the pleasure of the president. Josh was dying. It was taking everything in him not to take her in his arms and hold her until her she looked like his Donna again. He couldn't believe his selfish stupidity had caused her this type of pain. Donna received the Gettysburg address in her head to keep from losing it altogether.  
"Yes sir." Donna said stiffly still focused on a spot above Josh's head. Josh sighed. He knew he deserved this and more. He also knew it would get worse before it got better.


End file.
